


going off course

by bertee



Series: CWRPF: Target Practice [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, Baking, Fights, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-20
Updated: 2012-04-20
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:19:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bertee/pseuds/bertee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which hitman!Jared is not happy with definitely-not-a-hitman!Jensen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	going off course

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "cookie dough".

There was blood on Jared's knuckles when he pulled into the motel parking lot.

He'd obtained about ninety percent of the information he needed but the interrogation hadn't been a pleasant one. Blood was on his skin, under his nails, crusted on the strap of his watch, all of it making him feel like a walking crime scene. 

There hadn't been the time or the equipment for a thorough clean after he'd disposed of the body and as he parked his car and headed to his room, the first thing Jared wanted was a shower. And then numerous beers.

Swinging the door shut behind him, he dumped his duffel on the bed out of habit before coming to an abrupt stop.

Jensen's smile was impossibly cheerful. "Hi."

Ideally, Jared would've liked to form a more coherent inquiry into what precisely Jensen was doing. He would've also liked to use the correct intonation to indicate a puzzled question but he was tired and bloody and grouchy. Intonation was hard.

"What the fuck."

Jensen's smile dimmed a little. He wiped his flour-covered hands on his jeans and stepped out of the kitchenette, revealing a dizzying array of cooking utensils on the countertop. "I thought you might be hungry when you got back."

Jared reminded himself that he had made the decision not to kill Jensen and that he was not allowed to change his mind now.

"You thought I might be hungry," he repeated faintly.

"Yeah." Jensen shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. "I was hungry after I helped out with that interrogation one time." He wrinkled his nose, obviously remembering the reason why Jared didn't take him on any more interrogations. "Also nauseous, I guess."

Jared just wanted to make sure he had this straight. "So you made snacks for me to eat when I was done killing a guy?"

Jensen paled. "He was a bad guy, right?"

"Yup," Jared said, pulling his boots off and going for the beer. The shower would have to wait. "He dedicated his life to kicking puppies and drowning kittens."

Jensen's eyes went wide. 

Jared wondered what he'd done to deserve this. (He figured all the contract killings might've had something to do with it.)

"That was a joke, Ackles," he said with a sigh. "He was just a regular scumbag. No bonus puppy kicking."

"Oh." Jensen visibly relaxed. Evidently being part of a vicious criminal network was less terrible than kicking puppies. "That's good, I guess. You killed him?"

"After he told me everything he knew." Dropping to a seat in the old armchair, Jared ignored the puffs of dust which flew up from the upholstery and flashed Jensen a mocking smile. "Do I get a cookie?"

Jensen glanced back over his shoulder. "I only just finished making the dough," he said apologetically. "If you wanna wait fifteen minutes, I can give you one."

It took Jared's mind a moment to catch up.

It took him a moment longer to come to terms with the fact that this was his reality now.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you actually baked cookies."

"Just the dough," Jensen said, apparently missing the astonishment in Jared's tone. Jensen missed a lot of things. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon but I guess you can just eat the dough if you want?"

Jared got to his feet. His muscles ached from lugging Hartley's body down to the river and the bloodstains on his hands reminded him of the shower he had yet to enjoy, but his own priorities obviously didn't matter any more. Not now that he had Jensen.

"Are you seriously telling me that while I was out there torturing a guy for information that could help us kill _your_ psychotic ex-boyfriend and save _your_ life, you were hanging out here baking cookies?"

He couldn't help but relish the way Jensen flinched when he stalked closer. He backed up, bumping against the countertop and looking up at Jared with those goddamn Bambi eyes as he said, "I- I didn't know what else to do."

"How about you practice?" Jared yelled. "How about you use your fucking free time to work on all those moves I taught you? How about you show me I didn't waste weeks of my life training your sorry ass?"

"I did!" Jensen said weakly. He nodded to the wall behind Jared. "I cleaned all the guns and practised with the knives all afternoon, just like you showed me."

Looking over his shoulder, Jared saw the marks in the wall which suggested that Jensen had definitely been practising. There were enough holes in the target to indicate he was getting the hang of it but Jared was too riled up to feel that forgiving.

"So what, you got tired of learning how to defend yourself and decided to become Martha Stewart instead?" he asked, moving forward until he could trap Jensen in against the counter, one hand either side of his hips. 

Jensen tensed at the sudden closeness but didn't look away as Jared pushed, angry, "Is that what you're going to do when we get to Morgan? Get bored and roll over and let him cut your throat? Hey, maybe he won't kill you if you bake cookies for him too." 

Swept up in his rage, he leaned in even closer, towering over Jensen as he taunted, "Or maybe when you get tired of defending yourself, you can go back to spreading your legs for him. You never know, he might want one last round with his favorite slut before he puts you down like a dog."

He could pinpoint the split-second Jensen snapped.

Even as he saw it happen, he wasn't fast enough to stop him as Jensen shoved him hard in the chest, sending him stumbling back across the room.

"Fuck you!"

The Bambi eyes were gone, replaced with bright, indignant anger, and Jared hesitated as he caught his balance against the table behind him.

"You're a fucking asshole," Jensen spat. "I know you think I'm an idiot for not knowing who Jeff was but you don't get to say shit like that to me. You tried to kill me! You kidnapped me and dragged me through the woods and put a fucking gun to my head! I'm glad you're helping me now but you don't get a fucking medal for not murdering an innocent man."

He paused for breath, cheeks flushed red, and Jared raised his eyebrows. 

"Are you done?"

"No!" Jensen yelled, taking a step closer and stabbing his finger against Jared's chest. "You don't get to come back here and lecture me on what I should be doing. My whole fucking life is a disaster right now! I train and I practice and I do everything you taught me but that doesn't mean you get to control every goddamn second of my day!"

He stepped back, breathing hard, and Jared found himself letting out a breath too. Guilt trickled through him as Jensen turned his back, hands splayed on the counter, and he tried to fit his tongue around a suitable apology.

He knew he could be a dick sometimes but since most of the people he interacted with ended up dead, he had never really tackled the consequences of that character flaw.

"I'm sorry?" he ventured. It didn't feel particularly convincing. "Look, Ackles, I'm tired and this whole cookie bullshit was just-"

His mouth snapped shut when a kitchen knife slammed into the wall beside to his head.

Holding up a second knife in warning, Jensen said, "That was for calling me a slut. If you want any more proof that I've been practising, I can aim this one at your head."

Jared gulped. He was pretty sure the first one had taken off a slice of his hair. "I'm good."

"Then shut the fuck up about my cookies!"

Dropping the knife on the counter, Jensen aimed one final glare in Jared's direction before turning back to the bowl full of cookie dough. 

Rationally, Jared knew he should have been freaked out that his current partner just threw a knife at his head and yelled at him about cookies. That didn't stop him from deciding that Jensen's outburst was possibly the hottest thing he'd ever seen.

Jared's brain was stuck in 'Make Bad Choices' mode lately.

His hands were on Jensen's hips before he could stop himself. Jensen's eyes went wide as he spun him around and he let out a muffled noise of surprise when Jared crushed their lips together.

The wooden spoon in Jensen's hand smacked Jared on the side of the face as he flailed, smearing cookie dough on his cheek. Catching Jensen's wrist in his hand, Jared kissed him harder, pressing him back against the counter as Jensen started to kiss back.

The spoon clattered to the floor as Jensen twisted his wrist free of Jared's grip. He used his newfound control to grip Jared's hair, pulling their bodies flush against each other and fitting their mouths together as he licked inside Jared's mouth. Setting his hands on Jensen's hips, Jared slid them up under the material of his t-shirt to feel the warmth of the skin under his palms.

Jensen moaned, arching against Jared as much as he could, and Jared ran his hands down his ass to curl around the curve of Jensen's thighs. His legs parted with the easiest nudge and Jared let out a sound of approval at the grind of Jensen's dick against his own through their jeans. He tightened his grip on his thighs, ready to lift him up onto the countertop, but stopped when Jensen shook his head.

"No, no, no." It took him a minute to break away from the kiss completely but Jensen pulled back enough to look at Jared. "The cookies."

That was the second time in his life Jared had been turned down in favor of baked goods. It didn't get any easier.

"You're choosing cookies over me?"

"No," Jensen said. "Yes. Maybe." He shook his head and put his hand on Jared's chest, creating a couple more inches of space between them. "Why are you kissing me?"

"I'm not," Jared said, wiping the cookie dough off his cheek with the back of his hand. He may have been sulking a little. "We stopped because you thought the cookies were more important."

"You're a jackass," Jensen informed him. His cheeks were pink and his lips were even pinker but he remained infuriatingly far away as he asked, "Why the kiss?"

Jared shrugged. This was new territory for him. "It seemed like the thing to do."

Jensen blinked. "I threw a knife at you."

"I was hired to kill you," he shot back. "I think we're even." He smiled, leaning in to kiss Jensen on the neck. "Also that knife thing was really hot."

Jensen smiled sheepishly. "Really?"

"Really. It was like watching the Cookie Monster hulk out." He frowned. "Except way hotter than that sounds."

Tilting his head back, Jensen failed to stifle a moan as Jared kissed his way along his jaw. "Getting knives thrown at you doesn't sound like a healthy thing to be turned on by."

"We kill people," Jared pointed out. "Well, I kill people and you stand there and try not to pass out. Either way, 'healthy' isn't exactly our specialty."

Jensen narrowed his eyes. "I didn't pass out."

Jared grinned. "Well then congratulations on your success."

Cupping Jensen's cheek, he leaned in to catch his lips again. Jensen kissed him eagerly, nipping at Jared's lip and lowering his hands to grope Jared's ass, and Jared started to understand why Morgan had kept him around so long. 

Sure, most of the time it was like working with an incompetent Disney princess but ass-grabbing, lip-biting Jensen was a definite improvement.

This time when Jared gripped his thighs, Jensen didn't protest, just wrapped his legs around his waist and let Jared take his weight. He wriggled again him, letting out needy little sounds which managed to be hilarious and awkwardly arousing at the same time, but he ducked away from the kiss when Jared slid his hand up his shirt again.

"Your hands…"

"Are awesome?" Jared filled in, leaning in for another kiss.

He was stopped by Jensen's hand on his mouth. "They've got blood all over them," Jensen said, crinkling his nose. "It's gross."

Jared sighed. Showering was much less of a priority now that he had Jensen in his arms in a non-fainting, non-abduction capacity. "It's bad guy blood," he said hopefully, nuzzling under Jensen's jaw. "Better on my hands than pumping through his body while he kills innocent people, right?"

Jensen considered this for a second and then kissed him again. "I guess that makes sense."

Jared laughed into the kiss. "You're the worst psycho ever."

Jensen scowled. "I'm not a psycho."

"Oh, sure," Jared teased. "Hooking up with a blood-covered assassin is totally sane behavior."

Supporting Jensen with one hand, he reached behind him to snag the bowl of cookie dough and to set it between them as he walked them across the motel room to drop Jensen down to the bed. He settled on top of him, blanketing him easily as he kissed him again and moved the bowl of dough down next to them.

Jensen smiled up at him when they broke for air. "Are we eating cookie dough in bed together?"

Because he was Jensen, he sounded delighted at the prospect.

"Shut up."

Jensen beamed at him.

With a long-suffering sigh, Jared kissed him again to shut him up. His life was so hard.


End file.
